imaginist | ic spam @e.waldinger

I do have a job to do, you know. A highly demanding one.

maybe it'd be less demanding if you started spending less time in not yr own business

That's a hobby, not my job. A good work-life balance is essential for productivity.

have u considered little model airplanes instead. you'd keep your hair so much easier.

I don't like junk. And I don't see why you're threatening me. If you want to throw an extravagant party for ~~your~~ Zeke's birthday, you're more than welcome to it.

I am merely heading off the surveillance mission I heard you were launching

I didn’t think u would wanna go but do you

Surveillance mission? Oh, no. I have zero desire to learn whatever sordid activities you'll be up to in New York.

And [...] no. I really do need to catch up on work.

Forgive me for not trusting u there but it Will be at yr own risk in so many ways

Okay save me some spreadsheets

As hard as it is for you to believe, I have so much in my life that doesn't revolve around you. When would I even find the time to bribe someone on your trip to report all of your activities back to me?

see that makes it sound like you've done it already so i'm just gonna assume u have

I will neither confirm nor deny that.

Edited 2023-11-04 00:48 (UTC)

right kinda like you'll never know if there's another research asst. in the office who tells me how much work u rly get done every night

Oh no. You've found out that I transform the entire floor into a big top circus every night in a desperate attempt to reclaim a fun childhood I never had.

yeah bc that's what i'm talkin about

Fire breathers, trapeze artists, and a dozen honking clowns who tumble out of a tiny car and look like you and your friends.

shall i drive the clown car to the bakery while we're there surely ur prankee must be out of breads by now

A prank is never as funny the second time around. But who am I to stop my little sister from annoying whomever she wants?

i'd like to see u try.

[...] i've booked seats to beg a credit card back (worked). we land in LA the 22nd at 7pm and leave the 24th at 8am nice quick 35 hr window is that ok

Yes. More than acceptable. God willing, everyone will be blindingly drunk before the turkey even hits the table and we won't even have to stay that long.

as long as we stay thru like, one shame ritual each (i predict you're wasting yr career n how it's rly a shame i spent my last viable modelling yr beind bars) they'll lose interest by salads n i think it's p much fair game after that.

One and a half shame rituals, which they'll hopefully combine into a single lecture for efficiency. I should consider marrying the "discreet" daughter of one of Dad's business partners, while your childbearing years are rapidly dwindling away.

she wouldnt be that discreet when she found out u were the one who slept with her hot ex boyfriend and also oh no i had my lady organs removed for liminal study and oh look dad's disgusted and silent there he goes already aww too bad.

I suspect he thinks he can pay a girl to overlook a slutty gay husband, not realising that being gay is the least objectionable part of my personality. No amount of money can reverse sterilisation for science, though.

But maybe we should drop that trivia when we're not trying to charm them into restoring your trust fund.

he thinks he can pay anyone to make anything happen but I rly can’t imagine you trying to live w a girl

ugh but you’re right. time to tease fat grandbabies w these 39 yr old billionaires she sends me back into my 5 yr plan

I doubt I could live with anyone.

Collect their numbers and send her screenshots of you complimenting their dick pics. Alternatively, tell these billionaires that you'd happily overlook them being gay for some fake dating proof.

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