imaginist | ic spam @e.waldinger

Forgive me for not trusting u there but it Will be at yr own risk in so many ways

Okay save me some spreadsheets

As hard as it is for you to believe, I have so much in my life that doesn't revolve around you. When would I even find the time to bribe someone on your trip to report all of your activities back to me?

see that makes it sound like you've done it already so i'm just gonna assume u have

I will neither confirm nor deny that.

Edited 2023-11-04 00:48 (UTC)

right kinda like you'll never know if there's another research asst. in the office who tells me how much work u rly get done every night

Oh no. You've found out that I transform the entire floor into a big top circus every night in a desperate attempt to reclaim a fun childhood I never had.

yeah bc that's what i'm talkin about

Fire breathers, trapeze artists, and a dozen honking clowns who tumble out of a tiny car and look like you and your friends.

shall i drive the clown car to the bakery while we're there surely ur prankee must be out of breads by now

A prank is never as funny the second time around. But who am I to stop my little sister from annoying whomever she wants?

i'd like to see u try.

[...] i've booked seats to beg a credit card back (worked). we land in LA the 22nd at 7pm and leave the 24th at 8am nice quick 35 hr window is that ok

Yes. More than acceptable. God willing, everyone will be blindingly drunk before the turkey even hits the table and we won't even have to stay that long.

as long as we stay thru like, one shame ritual each (i predict you're wasting yr career n how it's rly a shame i spent my last viable modelling yr beind bars) they'll lose interest by salads n i think it's p much fair game after that.

One and a half shame rituals, which they'll hopefully combine into a single lecture for efficiency. I should consider marrying the "discreet" daughter of one of Dad's business partners, while your childbearing years are rapidly dwindling away.

she wouldnt be that discreet when she found out u were the one who slept with her hot ex boyfriend and also oh no i had my lady organs removed for liminal study and oh look dad's disgusted and silent there he goes already aww too bad.

I suspect he thinks he can pay a girl to overlook a slutty gay husband, not realising that being gay is the least objectionable part of my personality. No amount of money can reverse sterilisation for science, though.

But maybe we should drop that trivia when we're not trying to charm them into restoring your trust fund.

he thinks he can pay anyone to make anything happen but I rly can’t imagine you trying to live w a girl

ugh but you’re right. time to tease fat grandbabies w these 39 yr old billionaires she sends me back into my 5 yr plan

I doubt I could live with anyone.

Collect their numbers and send her screenshots of you complimenting their dick pics. Alternatively, tell these billionaires that you'd happily overlook them being gay for some fake dating proof.

no i get it having a roommate was a Change but its vidalia who p much lets me do whatever so

god ok second option def idk about u but i cannot muster fake joy over a random dick pic but i KNOW some of them Are (would u like their numbers) and that would make me tech In Compliance for like, what, a Boston trip every fiscal quarter or smth

Edited (12 is too many trips) 2023-11-04 16:31 (UTC)

You've been here long enough that you could always apply to get your own place on the second or third floors.

If a man can't deal with my honest reviews of his dick pics, he's not worth sleeping with. Also, if you're efficient about it, you'd need only one trip to produce a year's worth of photos of the courtship with your extremely heterosexual fiancé. (Send me the numbers.)

and leave ur neighbourhood alone god you'd LOVE that wouldn't u

omg exactly if i say its crooked n pedestrian it is and him pretending otherwise won't help anyway. and ok fiance is goin a LITTLE FAR (tho i guess i am not exactly lacking in reasons for a fake dude to break up a fake engagement am i lmao)

[...]really? i mean i will. kevin's in finance and goes deep sea fishing n brad is also in finance and his personality is his dog named ronald after reagan

Ah, well. You can't blame me for trying.

Fake Instagram boyfriend reveal in the first three months, fake proposal after six months, fake broken engagement after nine months. You don't even have to say why, although I have always wanted to try faking a murder conspiracy.

Ugh. They sound horrendous, and suitable for my purposes. Being at Enodia isn't exactly conducive to finding single men whose egos are ripe for systematic disassembly.

it’d be a good test run for a real murder one day and easily debunked if we needed it to be. he’d just be thanking me while running around Europe w a hottie

I guess I wasn’t sure if those were yr purposes but that’s not wrong. Purpl has like THREE ppl who don’t work here it’s so sad

Think of how relieved everyone will be when he's found alive in Malta, tanned and healthy and newly recovered from Liminal-induced amnesia.

35 hours in LA for Thanksgiving, most of which will be spent with my sister, are not the ideal circumstances for a hookup, so alas, I must content myself with some risky texting.

I wonder if that’s something I could do. Blast the memory part of the brain a lil.

I mean don’t be chaste on my account in LA. I’ll book us rooms on different floors. I’ve done some damage on waaay shorter layovers

ic spam @e.waldinger

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